


Losing The Battle

by MusicLover6661



Series: War Never Changes [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Nazi Germany, Blood, Blood and Injury, F/M, Gun Violence, Nazis, Rogue Steve Rogers, Violence, imagine what Chris looked like in Snowpiercer, that's how he looks in this basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 10:22:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14850956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicLover6661/pseuds/MusicLover6661





	Losing The Battle

The chill in the air bit into my skin harshly, I knew better than to open my mouth. It would alert the guards to where I was hiding, and that wasn't something I could handle. Everyone had been slaughtered, torn from their homes and shot to death. We had been taught in school from a young age that Germany had won the war in the 40's. The man who was supposed to stop them fell to his death, along with his best friend. They would take people from their homes whenever it was called for, so here I was, laid under my bed hiding. My entire family was gone, torn from my hands before I could do anything about it. I was just hoping I could find some other survivors.

February 2018

Snow was falling to the ground in large flakes, covering every inch of asphalt. The boots I had been able to scavenge did little to keep my feet warm. They were more sturdy than the sneakers I had abandoned though. The jacket that clung to my skin was thin, barely keeping away the snow that threatened to cover every inch of my skin. The houses were mostly empty along the streets, save for one every mile or so. They were always full of food, though most of it was rotten. I'd take the cans, and bottles of water before heading on my way again.

The soldiers that roamed at night were the worst, they would shoot on sight without a second thought. And tonight would most likely be one of those of those nights. Footsteps rang loudly in the air as they stalked towards where I was. Shit, if I don't hide now they're gonna find me.

I turned towards a small shack looking house and ran inside, the door was broken off the hinges, I'd have to make due and sleep in one of the rooms for the night. The room was warm enough, securing that none of the soldiers would see me inside. The wind was rushing against the windows, the house creaking under the powerful winds. Deciding it would be better to fill my stomach before I got any sleep, I cracked open a can of beef stew. It wasn't too bad cold, would taste better even a little warmer, but I would make due for now.

The floor was ice cold in the morning, sinking through my jacket as I propped up on my elbow. It was time to venture out again, get as far away from this place as I could. So far I was in Brooklyn, New York. It wasn't a bad place, a little too open to be safe, but not as bad as other places. There were places where the apartments and homes would be too spread out for any kind of safety. The soldiers never went there though, knowing that no one was brave enough to bother.

“Just wish the damn snow would stop, it's getting to be annoying” I mumbled softly under my breath.

The air felt thick suddenly, as if someone were right behind me, hiding behind the trees nearby. I pulled the jacket tighter to my chest, glancing over my shoulder quickly. There was a man, his chest heaving as he watched me. Shit! It's a fucking soldier!

I looked around for the nearest exit, somewhere to hide where I wouldn't be exposed to anymore soldiers. There was a house close enough, I just had to lose the guy on my tail so he wouldn't see me slip inside. I swung towards the house, slipping down into the basement almost silently. The snow covered my tracks within minutes. The man searched, his long hair whipping around his face as he looked between the houses. His lips pulled into a scowl as he walked down the street, a gun held tightly in his arms.

My heart hadn't slowed down, beating erratically in my chest as I watched on in horror. He was going to kill me if he found me. I couldn't risk that. A hand was wrapped around my mouth, cutting off my screams as I was pulled harshly into someone's chest. I thrashed about, screaming behind the hand that muffled my voice. The person pulled me deeper into the house, his back slamming against the wall harshly. They were whispering roughly, telling me to be quiet or else we'd be found. But I couldn't slow my heart or listen to reason, my body was screaming that I was in danger.

“You need to calm down! I'd rather not get caught because you're determined to break my kneecap” His voice was deep, soothing almost. If I didn't feel as if I was about to die maybe I'd be charmed to be so close to a man.  
“You're the one whose trying to kill me in this basement” I held his wrist tightly, pulling air into my lungs.  
“I'm trying to make sure he doesn't find you, so either you calm down or we're both dead” He let go of me slowly, stepping over to the window. 

Whoever was following me outside was long gone, no footprints left behind whatsoever. I didn't feel relaxed though, no I felt even more anxious. The man behind me was pacing the room, his shoes were almost silent against the floor. His hair and beard were dark, almost black against the pale skin of his face. His eyes were striking though, the softest baby blue I had ever seen. This is no time to be checking out a man who almost just murdered you. 

“Who was that out there? You seemed to know him” I stepped closer, keeping a large distance between the man and myself.  
“Him and I used to be friends, a long time ago. But he clearly chose the wrong side, and I've been doing everything I can to hide away” His eyes were locked on the window, widening as he saw a figure step closer.

He kept a hand over my mouth, pulling me back against his chest once again. It was a different soldier, his gun pointed at the window where we stood together. If they were to kneel down, they'd see us hiding together. I haven't spent the last four years of my life running just to be murdered by the scum of the earth like him. Our breath mingled together as the temperature dropped lower, I'd have to use the blanket I carried around to help keep me warm.

The soldier walked away slowly, yelling to someone else in German. It didn't sound friendly though, he sounded quite pissed off. Was it because he didn't find what he was looking for? Or because he was looking for something else?

“They're gone for now, it's best to get up higher now” The man let go of my waist, heading over to the stairs that looked ready to break under any kind of weight.  
“I never got your name” I said walking closer to him, his shoulders were stiff, his hand gripping onto the railing.  
“My names Steve, Steve Rogers” My heart leapt into my throat. That was too much of a coincidence though.  
“I'm Y/N Y/L/N” It felt a little easier to open up to Steve, knowing that he was in the same boat as I was.

There was a fire roaring in the fireplace, it warmed the living room quickly. How they didn't notice this outside was beyond me, the smoke would be visible for miles. Steve plopped down onto the floor, his legs splayed out in front of him as he tried to take in the warmth of the fire. Deciding that neither of us were going to be much good with the soldiers running around I plopped down beside him. He was asleep within minutes, the room filling with snores as he tried to stay comfortable. I was jealous of him. I wish I could fall asleep that easily, even if the room felt empty and deadly. It was just like my room at home, where I had hidden away while everyone I loved and cared about were murdered. I just wanted my life back.

“Y/N! Get up!” Steve's whisper was harsh as he yanked me off the floor, the fire had been put out, the logs smoldering as he ran out of the room.

My bag was gone, nothing left except for the blanket I had carried on my back. There was a jacket strewn across the couch, it looked thick and warm. It would have to do for now, until we could find another place to sleep for the night, whenever that was. I pulled on the jacket and zipped it up quickly, pulling the hood over my head before meeting Steve in the back yard.

He lead us through the back alleys, a gun slung over his shoulder as he watched out for any of the soldiers. It seemed as if everyone had deserted the town in favor of somewhere else. And for our sake I hoped they did. Steve had a cut next to his right eyebrow, the small trickle of blood was worrying me. He didn't seem to care though, pushing on without a second thought.

Steve stopped short, his arm pushing me behind him as he stared straight forward. It was the soldier from the night before. The one that Steve knew. Oh shit. His breathing was slow, as if the soldier hadn't noticed us just yet. We were too out in the open to hide, nowhere to go where he couldn't find us. Steve pulled the gun over his shoulder, the strap pulling taut against the fabric of his jacket, his finger held over the trigger.

The soldier turned to face us then, his own gun raised as he fired. A bullet hit Steve's shoulder, piercing into my arm as I fell back against the snow. What kind of bullets was this guy using? The blood stained the crisp white snow as Steve fired back at the soldier. He held up his arm to shield himself, it sounded as if he was firing at a car door rather than a person. The pain was excruciating, tearing through my body as I struggled to crawl away. Steve grabbed me from the ground, running away from the soldier that was currently on the ground. Though I couldn't tell if he was alive or dead at the moment.

Steve hadn't stopped until we were inside a house, it felt more like a mansion if I was honest. But honest or not, I was too afraid of what was going to happen to us. What if the soldier happened to still be alive and managed to find us again? Steve had me pinned to the floor, his knees on either sides of my hips as he tried to clean the wound.

It felt as if he was trying to rip my arm off, his free hand was covering my mouth. Once the bullet was pulled out the pain almost vanished. Was there something on the bullet that I didn't know about? Then again, they were known to use tainted bullets on people they needed to get rid of quickly. God, why was this all happening? How were we reduced to nothing? We were so close to winning the war, taking over and ensuring that this wouldn't happen. But then our allies were gone, every single soldier was shot dead, and the Germans won.

“Steve, what're we going to do?” My throat was raw from screaming, and my arm was now in searing pain. Shit.  
“We're going to take them down, look at the world this has all come to” Steve scoffed, kicking over an empty bucket.

He hated the fate we were suffering just as much as I was. It seemed so surreal lately, how could life become this? We were the good guys in the war, and now we were being punished for simply being born. They wanted people that were deemed perfect, no scars, nothing wrong on their perfect bodies. I wasn't one of those people, and looking at Steve, neither was he. His eyes were sharp, angry. He would never fit in with the people that were deemed perfect. Maybe they would spare him, convince him to work as a soldier. 

He wouldn't do it though, he couldn't allow himself to become a mindless zombie. Killing innocent people just for the sake of their leader. Steve plopped down across from me, his expression was blank, a cigarette dangling from his hand.

“I need some answers before we do anything drastic” I tried to sit up and shift my position, but with the pain in my arm I was only able to move a couple feet.  
“I can't promise I'll answer all of them” He chuckled and took a drag from the cigarette, smoke billowing from his lips.  
“You used to be Captain America, didn't you?” I watched his figure stiffen, staring down at the floor between us.

The room fell silent, neither of us speaking to one another for what felt like an eternity. The cigarette burned down to the filter, ash falling onto the faded wood below. He only nodded, slowly.

“I used to be, but then Bucky and I ended up in the war, I can still hear his scream from when he fell from the train” His eyes were on me then, tears shining dimly in the fading light.  
“Bucky's the soldier outside, isn't he?” Steve nodded, flicking the butt of the cigarette into a bucket nearby.  
“He was the first one to fall, I was dumb enough to jump out even though I knew he was dead” Steve chuckled softly, though I could tell there was no humor in it at all.

The room fell silent again, not even the wind outside made any noise. We would need to find a way to break in to the main building in the center of town and take out whoever was in charge. Steve needed to show who he was, show everyone that he wasn't dead. But how were we supposed to do that with the hundreds of soldiers outside?

“Wait a goddamn second, if you fell from the train, then how are you alive right now?” I had heard all about how brave Steve had been, using a serum to turn him into the man he was today. But this just sounded insane now.  
“I was frozen in ice, they found me by complete accident and somehow managed to keep me hidden, I ended up escaping when they found us though. There were so many soldiers” Steve's voice trailed off at the memory.

I wanted nothing more than to hug him and ensure he was safe now. For the most part at least. To promise him that we were going to be alright.

Steve made a small fort to help keep us warm, the blankets worked absolute wonders, though I think it was more of Steve's body heat keeping each of warm. My body was warmer than it had been in months when I woke up, stretching and yawning. I rolled over to face Steve and came up empty, instead I was met with the cold eyes of the soldier. Oh shit.

“Where is he?” His hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing harshly.  
“I don't know!” I gripped onto his arm, shocked to find that it wasn't flesh underneath my hands. The cool metal was ice cold to the touch.|“Don't lie to me, I'm under very strict orders” His hand tightened, effectively cutting off any air from getting into my lungs.  
“I..I'm-” My eyes rolled back as I awaited death to take over.

I was dropped to the floor as the soldier was knocked away. Steve was holding a shield on his arm, using it to protect himself from the barrage of attacks the soldier began to inflict. It seemed as if neither could get a leg up on the other. They were too equally matched. I pushed up and off the floor, running out into the streets. There was a single car across the street, and even though it didn't look to be running. It was the only way I could be able to escape.

Steve was still fighting the soldier as I slipped into the car, searching all over for the keys. Shit, if I don't hurry the soldiers going to find me. Steve ran from the house, jumping into the backseat of the car as he tossed the keys into my lap. I didn't look at the house to see whether the soldier was following us or not. Steve gave me directions on where to go. The roads were slick with ice, the fear of being caught slowly raised the farther we drove.

Steve sighed and leaned back against the seat, setting the shield down by his feet. I glanced at him in the mirror and smirked, he didn't seem too happy about anything in the moment.

“All that blood looks good looks good on you. It brings out your eyes” I could feel his gaze land on mine through the mirror, his brow raised as our eyes locked for a moment.  
“Thanks, haven't had someone compliment me like that in a while” Steve chuckled and held the side of his head, blood covering most of his hand as he pulled it away.  
“Are you sure this is where we need to go?” I slowly stopped the car, looking at the empty building in front of us. There was nothing left of it but rubble.

Steve stepped out of the car slowly, his mouth hung open in shock. Where were we anyway? This wasn't a place I recognized. Was it because the building had been blown apart to represent nothing but rubble at this point?

“This was where he was, I was going to finally get rid of him” Steve stepped towards the building, his hands clenched into fists at this sides.  
“Get rid of who?” I followed suit, catching up to Steve in a few strides.  
“Zemo, he was one of the remaining top tier men. It seems like someone else got to him instead” Steve chuckled and rubbed his face, blood spreading over his cheek and jaw.

A flood of soldiers came out of every crevice, their guns raised at us. I could feel the tears slide down my cheeks slowly. I lived a good life, it was just too bad I didn't get to kill the bastards who took away my family.

“They're not Germans” The voice was clear as day, and American.  
“No, we've been trying to hide from this mess” Steve didn't move from his stance, hands still clasped tightly behind his back.  
“We've been trying to do everything we can to stop this mess. So far we've gotten most of Europe under control, our next job is to secure the states” The soldier stepped over to us, the rifle in his hands looked too familiar to the one that Bucky had.

Steve wasn't going to speak up, to say who he was in fear they'd ask him to fight. There was no way he'd be able to fight Bucky, not without killing the man. We were lead over to a truck, small rations of food placed in our lap for us to enjoy. While they did fill our stomachs, it made us realize the danger everyone else was in. Steve could very well hold off Bucky, but at what cost? One of them wouldn't come out of that fight alive.

“What're your names?” The soldier from before, Clint, was looking at us expectantly.  
“I'm Y/N, and this is Steve” I wasn't entirely sure if he wanted me to use his actual name or to lie, but I was put on the spot.  
“Don't worry about a thing you two, it'll be over before we know it” Clint smiled softly, leaning back against the seat of the truck with a yawn.

The car ride was long and tiring, Steve and I had fallen asleep after almost an hour. By the time I woke up I was completely strewn across his lap, his hands gently carding through my hair. The photo pressed harshly against my chest, tears stung my eyes as I pushed up slowly. Except I wasn't in a car, I was in a bedroom. Did Steve carry me inside after we arrived? The thought warmed my soul, and the room was amazing.

I took the photo from my pocket, frowning as I took in the wrinkled edges, the smiling faces of the people I had loved so much. Steve scooted closer to me, his arm wrapping around my waist slowly, it was a comforting gesture.

“Who're those people?” Steve was pointing to where I stood next to my best friend Chris and Kaitlyn, her boyfriend Seb stood on the opposite side.  
“These were the best people I ever met, they were taken first when this all came about” I gestured with my hand towards the madness that was going on outside.  
“You guys all seem very happy, I'm sure I would've loved to meet em” Steve smiled softly, scratching the beard on his chin as he did.  
“We were very happy. I can still hear her screaming my name” The tears were slipping down my cheeks as I traced her face with my finger.

Steve was silent for a few moments his thumb wiping away the tears on my face. I turned to look at him, trying to think of something to say. Anything. My words were failing me though as I watched Steve's eyes darken. His lips were pressed oh so softly against my own, it didn't even feel as if I was kissing anyone. I sighed softly and kissed him back, clutching the photo tighter in my hands.

“I'm going to end this once and for all for you, and for them” Steve held up the wrist that was clutching the photo.  
“Steve, you don't have to do that” I was flattered, truly. But he was going into this blind, and the last thing I wanted was for him to get himself killed.  
“I'll be just fine, make sure the beds warm for me” Steve smiled and left the room quickly.

*** 

July 2018

Steve hadn't come back in months, there was no word on whether they had been able to successfully take down the Nazis or not. They were trying to keep quiet to not raise suspicion, and it was safe to say everyone was worried the worst had happened. Until one day they came inside, everyone except for Steve walked through the doors, they had won. We could finally live in peace knowing that the scum of the earth were going to get what they deserved. I couldn't pull myself to celebrate with everyone else, not while knowing that Steve was gone. Everyone I had come to know, and love, was dead. I smiled softly as Clint poured a glass of champagne for everyone in the room. My heart was filled with dread as I crawled into the bed. The sheets felt colder, emptier. Even if I had slept in this bed for those long months it felt wrong this time. I couldn't stay here knowing what had truly happened to him. It felt wrong. Everything felt wrong.

The sun was gone, the only thing shining in the sky were the bright stars as the bed dipped, an arm wrapping slowly around my waist. Was someone seriously playing a sick prank on me right now? 

“Thanks for keeping the bed warm for me” The voice brought on a fresh wave of tears. So I was going crazy, wonderful.  
“Promised I would” My voice was thick with tears, I wanted to pretend things were back to normal.  
“Hey, why're you crying, what's wrong?” A sob tore through my throat as I pressed my hands over my face, trying to keep silent.  
“Because I'm gonna wake up and you'll be gone, just like every single night” I wiped my tears away, my hands shaking as I placed them down on the bed.  
“Y/N, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere” Steve pushed himself up, his arm slipping off of my waist.

He pushed me back, his hands pressing me shoulders down into the plush bed. His eyes were bright in the dim moonlight. It finally clicked, he was truly here.

“Steve!” I cried, throwing my arms around his neck. His chest muffled my cries, his shirt soaking the tears that slid down my cheeks.  
“I told you I was back, and I'm not leaving you anymore” Steve held me tight to his chest, his hands rubbing my back slowly.

The room was almost silent, save for my loud and obnoxious sobbing. I was just grateful to have Steve back where he belonged. To know that he was safe and sound was giving me peace of mind. He chuckled and pulled my face away from his chest, his thumbs wiping away the tears that were sliding down my cheeks.

“I have a friend I want you to meet, is that alright?” Steve looked nervous, anxious.

I nodded and scooted out of his grip, resting my back against the headboard. He scurried out of the room to get whomever the friend was. There were hushed whispers being shared in the hallway before Steve stepped inside, followed by the soldier. My heart leapt into my throat, he brought him here!? Was he insane?

“Y/N, I know what you're going to say, but I want to assure you that everything is fine” Steve kept his eyes on the other man before walking over to the bed, taking a seat down where my feet had been.  
“Steve he tried to murder us at one point, I still have the scar to prove it” I wrapped my arms around my legs, my eyes never leaving the man who stood at the end of the bed.

The room fell silent before Steve looked over his shoulder at me, his lips pulled into a deep frown. I was sure he wanted me to get to know Bucky a little more, but the thought terrified me. The man was a killer, he didn't let anything get in his way, and I mean anything.

“I just want you to know, that things aren't like that anymore. It's kind of hard to disobey orders when your life is being threatened every single day” His voice was rough, it cracked slightly.  
“Doesn't sound like my life for the last five years or anything” I scowled at him, how could he just assume I would put this all behind us?  
“Both of you need to stop, this has gone on long enough” Steve stood up and lead Bucky out of the room, most likely showing him back to where he'd be sleeping.

I laid back down under the blankets, curling up as the heat kicked on once again. The room was warm, and by the time Steve made his way back into the room it'd be even warmer. He walked into the room slowly, shutting the door behind himself. He stayed by the foot of the bed for a few moments, unsure whether or not to crawl under the blankets. I rolled my eyes and pushed the blanket back, letting him know that he was allowed.

He blushed and crawled under the blankets, his arms wrapping around my waist slowly, pulling me flush against his chest. His breath washed over my face gently, his grip on my waist tightening.

“I'm sorry for making you wait, I wanted to be home with everyone else, but things came up” Steve frowned, his lips were so close to my own.  
“Don't be, you had a good reason” I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled.  
“I promise I won't leave again though, so expect to see me around for a while” I couldn't help but giggle, pressing our lips together softly.


End file.
